Ambien. No doubt about it.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
