i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
