I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
try to milk me bitch
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