I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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