"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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