I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize