if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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