Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
