did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This baby is an asshole
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
