Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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