Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
