Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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