You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
