I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
