I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
