I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My pussy is not your playground.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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