problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
