If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize