I just saw a hot homeless man
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
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