There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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