I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Someone came in the potted fern
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
