If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
and she was petting her beer can
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
