Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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