Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
