and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
