Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
