he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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