I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You dont lie about slip and slides
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We left the knife in your bed.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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