is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
