Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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