haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize