Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
