Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
