We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
