and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
