I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
