It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I want to walk on stilts...naked
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
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