I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
