Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
