When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
