We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
