Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
