So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
