Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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