if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
