I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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