If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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