Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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