She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
