I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Randomize
