Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
