Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
