Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
