Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
