____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize