Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
