Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
