; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
this will be a night to untag.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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