Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I don't deserve a penis
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize