"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
