i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
