Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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