If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
They took my balls.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have fence marks all over my body
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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