Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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