You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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